Sawyer watches him carefully. There's a lot that he's afraid of. Sex has never been pleasant his entire life. And it had started... before it should have. Before he could have ever been ready. Still, he's drawn to this man...wolf? What is he? He doesn't really understand all of that. Is he human?
He chews on his lip in thought, staying silent for maybe too long and just leaving their knees pressed together a warm reminder of how close they are but unlike with any other contact it doesn't make him panic. And since it wasn't sudden he doesn't freeze.
It's after some time before he makes a decision. He doesn't know how anything works in the real world. he's never been a part of it. He'd been in a cult that had used him to summon demons and open portals to hell and then he'd been in an insane asylum after they no longer needed him and the abuse had never stopped there.
The silence had felt so normal. The way it stretched out. The way they seemed to both just be studying the other, lost in thought.
Were they the same? Were they really that different? It didn’t feel…as different as he knew it was. Sawyer was…a creature that would always have Bishop wrapped around his finger no matter what, it felt like.
And then a thought hit him and he flushed again, “…I’m Bishop by the way. My name.”
Sawyer doesn't answer and he blinks when the other tells him his name.
"Bishop," he whispers. Then he moves. He climbs onto his lap, his legs going on either side of him. His small hands rest on the other's shoulder and his pulse is racing.
"I can..." he says softly and looks at the other. He's a little scared. But strangely this feels normal.
Bishop blinks slowly after hearing his name whispered like that; so familiar that it makes his heart ache. But then Sawyer is in his lap, a familiar weight. Even the way he moves is exactly the same. The way his heart beat quickens. All of it is so much the same that it’s hard to….
“Can what?” He repeats even lower than before. Was this cheating? What was this? What was going on? Bishops heart was pounding so hard he was sure Sawyer would hear it.
Sawyer's not even sure what he's doing. He chews his lips as he curls his fingers against the other's shoulders. Honestly, he's afraid. He's afraid of trusting this stranger that doesn't feel quite like a stranger.
He doesn't answer with words, though.
Sawyer leans forward pressing a kiss to Bishop's lips. This is one of the first things he's really deciding for himself. To trust, to let himself be... something to this person that's not just a means to an end -- at least he thinks so.
He waits and in the meantime tries to relearn how to breathe. A normally mundane thoughtless task surprisingly hard when one is as confused as he is.
But then everything completely stops the moment Sawyers lips meet his. They’re soft. Lips he’s kissed a million times at this point, even if they’re not exactly the same.
His lips part slightly before he kisses him back carefully. Why was he doing this? And why was he returning it? He’s still hesitant to really touch him at this point but his hands naturally find their way to rest on the others hips. Not gripping so much as resting.
Sawyer appreciates that the other is careful with his touching that he doesn't immediately take over, doesn't grip him...doesn't demand anything of him. he doesn't hurt him. He just lightly touches him, kissing him gently. He's never had that before.
His eyes are wide when the other breaks the kiss and he doesn't move.
Sawyer doesn't say anything and instead he slowly pulls off his shirt. There's scars over his torso and stomach, even over his arms. His skin is marred and he's showing him on purpose. Would he still want him? On his side is a large demonic symbol burned into his skin.
"I... I'm probably not as nice to look at as him..." he says softly. "But I..." he bites his lip and looks away. "Just don't hurt me... you won't hurt me, right?" he says softly. He doesn't know where he gets the courage.
For a second, Bishop almost stops him but then he notices the scars, and the marks and he can’t force the words out.
Bishops gaze darts from one scar to another, and he carefully raises one hand to hover over the symbol. He doesn’t touch it. He doesn’t touch any of it even if a huge part of him wishes he could erase all of it the same way he wished he could erase His Sawyers scars.
“…why…why do you have to suffer no matter where you are…” he mutters, and he doesn’t cry but it’s obvious that he hates to see him like this. Always like this. Always hurt.
“I’d never hurt you. Ever. Never you.” He says, finally looking back towards the others face. He may not be the wolf he’d mated but he’s still clearly him.
Sawyer's holding his breath. Despite the fact that he's seeming to be making all these moves he's terrified. And as the other looks at his scars, he sees his hand hovering and then not touching and tears start to well up. Is he too disgusting to touch? He wants to get up at first, but he feels frozen again. He lets out the breath he's holding and it's shuddering when the other finally speaks.
Oh.
His eyes are still wet but he's managing not to start crying and as the other assures him he won't hurt him he finally starts to unfreeze. He feels connected to him when he looks in his eyes. Why? He doesn't understand when he's not... really...the same person the other knows.
"Okay," he says softly. "You can touch them...they're all old," he says softly.
Even with permission, he doesn’t move his hands right away. But when he does, it’s to reach up and draw Sawyer into another kiss. Warmer this time, keeping him closer than before.
His hand slowly draw down; blindly feeling along a few of the scars but when his hand lands on the symbol he pauses, “what is this?”
It surprises him. There's almost a hint of a smile when the other draws him into another kiss instead of his hands going elsewhere. He kisses back. Again, kissing Bishop doesn't hurt... it's warm... and it feels good.
The other's hands are gentle on his skin and he only tenses when the other touches the symbol and then asks about it.
He lowers his head, shaking it a little.
"I don't want to talk about it," he murmurs softly. It's the symbol for the demon he'd been used to try and summon. Sometimes that brand still hurts even though it's long healed it'll burn at times.
Bishop noses against Sawyer; breathing in the scent of his hair and his fingers immediately leave the symbol and raise to lift the others chin again so he can look into his eyes.
“Do you want me to take care of you?” He asks quietly.
Why would he?
But then again why was any of this even happening? Why did he end up in this place with another version of his mate? Fate?
Sawyer swallows at the nosing. It's different. He's never had someone do that. He's also never had someone respect what he wants, and he had fully thought Bishop would demand answers... would keep touching it until he gave them to him. He bites his lip as his face is lifted, looking at the other's soft kind eyes.
“If you’ll let me, I’ll take care of you,” Bishop nods and steals a feather light kiss from his mouth.
It doesn’t feel like cheating. It doesn’t feel wrong. It should. He knows it should. But it doesn’t. If he wasn’t meant to be here he wouldn’t have ran into him. He wouldn’t be sitting here in his clean room touching scars that never had a right to exist.
“I’ll keep you safe,” he adds quietly, “I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
Sawyer's quiet, thinking about that. Is that why it feels so familiar when he looks at Bishop? Why he feels that instinctual need to trust him? He furrows a brow, chewing on his lip as the other touches one of his scars and his eyes lower again.
"I was little when it started. There was no stopping it," his parents were a part of it. he was born into it.
“You’ll always be mine to save. Maybe one time I’ll get to you before they do. I don’t care if I have to do it when I’m five,” he chuckles softly, but it’s muffled when he wraps his arms around the others smaller frame and pulls him in against him.
The same brand of protective and possessive that Sawyer always brings out of him.
Sawyer wraps his arms around the other in something like a hug though it's a bit awkward. He's never really hugged anyone before. He leans to kiss him again. It's strange to have someone want to protect him to keep him safe... Bishop is still a stranger and yet he feels like he knows him more than he's known anyone in his life...
It’s only awkward for Bishop because he’d already established all of this with his mate. It felt…a little strange like he was starting over but not really.
He returns the kiss, drawing it out for a while, tasting and nipping the others mouth before he finally has to ask.
“…were you trying to see if I’d run away from you when you took your shirt off or were you wanting to actually get me naked…?”
Sawyer kisses more shyly but he doesn’t pull away from Bishop as the other
explores, the nips feeling nice and making him shiver from more than the
cold air.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He chews on his lip in thought, staying silent for maybe too long and just leaving their knees pressed together a warm reminder of how close they are but unlike with any other contact it doesn't make him panic. And since it wasn't sudden he doesn't freeze.
It's after some time before he makes a decision. He doesn't know how anything works in the real world. he's never been a part of it. He'd been in a cult that had used him to summon demons and open portals to hell and then he'd been in an insane asylum after they no longer needed him and the abuse had never stopped there.
"I can."
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The silence had felt so normal. The way it stretched out. The way they seemed to both just be studying the other, lost in thought.
Were they the same? Were they really that different? It didn’t feel…as different as he knew it was. Sawyer was…a creature that would always have Bishop wrapped around his finger no matter what, it felt like.
And then a thought hit him and he flushed again, “…I’m Bishop by the way. My name.”
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"Bishop," he whispers. Then he moves. He climbs onto his lap, his legs going on either side of him. His small hands rest on the other's shoulder and his pulse is racing.
"I can..." he says softly and looks at the other. He's a little scared. But strangely this feels normal.
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Bishop blinks slowly after hearing his name whispered like that; so familiar that it makes his heart ache. But then Sawyer is in his lap, a familiar weight. Even the way he moves is exactly the same. The way his heart beat quickens. All of it is so much the same that it’s hard to….
“Can what?” He repeats even lower than before. Was this cheating? What was this? What was going on? Bishops heart was pounding so hard he was sure Sawyer would hear it.
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He doesn't answer with words, though.
Sawyer leans forward pressing a kiss to Bishop's lips. This is one of the first things he's really deciding for himself. To trust, to let himself be... something to this person that's not just a means to an end -- at least he thinks so.
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But then everything completely stops the moment Sawyers lips meet his. They’re soft. Lips he’s kissed a million times at this point, even if they’re not exactly the same.
His lips part slightly before he kisses him back carefully. Why was he doing this? And why was he returning it? He’s still hesitant to really touch him at this point but his hands naturally find their way to rest on the others hips. Not gripping so much as resting.
“You…don’t have to…”
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His eyes are wide when the other breaks the kiss and he doesn't move.
Sawyer doesn't say anything and instead he slowly pulls off his shirt. There's scars over his torso and stomach, even over his arms. His skin is marred and he's showing him on purpose. Would he still want him? On his side is a large demonic symbol burned into his skin.
"I... I'm probably not as nice to look at as him..." he says softly. "But I..." he bites his lip and looks away. "Just don't hurt me... you won't hurt me, right?" he says softly. He doesn't know where he gets the courage.
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Bishops gaze darts from one scar to another, and he carefully raises one hand to hover over the symbol. He doesn’t touch it. He doesn’t touch any of it even if a huge part of him wishes he could erase all of it the same way he wished he could erase His Sawyers scars.
“…why…why do you have to suffer no matter where you are…” he mutters, and he doesn’t cry but it’s obvious that he hates to see him like this. Always like this. Always hurt.
“I’d never hurt you. Ever. Never you.” He says, finally looking back towards the others face. He may not be the wolf he’d mated but he’s still clearly him.
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Oh.
His eyes are still wet but he's managing not to start crying and as the other assures him he won't hurt him he finally starts to unfreeze. He feels connected to him when he looks in his eyes. Why? He doesn't understand when he's not... really...the same person the other knows.
"Okay," he says softly. "You can touch them...they're all old," he says softly.
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His hand slowly draw down; blindly feeling along a few of the scars but when his hand lands on the symbol he pauses, “what is this?”
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The other's hands are gentle on his skin and he only tenses when the other touches the symbol and then asks about it.
He lowers his head, shaking it a little.
"I don't want to talk about it," he murmurs softly. It's the symbol for the demon he'd been used to try and summon. Sometimes that brand still hurts even though it's long healed it'll burn at times.
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“Do you want me to take care of you?” He asks quietly.
Why would he?
But then again why was any of this even happening? Why did he end up in this place with another version of his mate? Fate?
Was he always supposed to be his?
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"You want to...?"
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It doesn’t feel like cheating. It doesn’t feel wrong. It should. He knows it should. But it doesn’t. If he wasn’t meant to be here he wouldn’t have ran into him. He wouldn’t be sitting here in his clean room touching scars that never had a right to exist.
“I’ll keep you safe,” he adds quietly, “I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
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Finally, he nods. He... finds he wants that more than he's ever wanted anything. It's a clear want, one that wasn't hard to decide or find.
"Please," he says softly.
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"I've... never had something that's mine."
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That’s something. It’s probably not much depending on who you ask but, it was something.
He brushes a finger over a scar briefly and frowns, “I just wish I could get to you before people have the chance to hurt you.”
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"I was little when it started. There was no stopping it," his parents were a part of it. he was born into it.
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A cycle…
“You’ll always be mine to save. Maybe one time I’ll get to you before they do. I don’t care if I have to do it when I’m five,” he chuckles softly, but it’s muffled when he wraps his arms around the others smaller frame and pulls him in against him.
The same brand of protective and possessive that Sawyer always brings out of him.
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He doesn't feel alone.
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He returns the kiss, drawing it out for a while, tasting and nipping the others mouth before he finally has to ask.
“…were you trying to see if I’d run away from you when you took your shirt off or were you wanting to actually get me naked…?”
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Sawyer kisses more shyly but he doesn’t pull away from Bishop as the other explores, the nips feeling nice and making him shiver from more than the cold air.
“Both…” he blushes.
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“Do you still want me naked?”
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Sawyer hesitates but only for a split second and his face has gone pink as he looks away.
“Mm,” he nods.
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